Break Up 101: Ending a Relationship Amicably
As we have always championed, romantic relationships that are worth their weight in gold should inspire you to be better each and every day, give you a sense of security and joy, and make you grow through everything.
What’s the point of committing to another person if the experience wouldn’t be fulfilling, right?
Sadly, not every love story stands through the test of time and achieves that proverbial happily ever after, no matter if it’s a new relationship or a years-old marriage. Relationship issues creep up or a partner’s toxic behavior finally emerges, and it’s all downhill from there.
Nothing but misery and bad memories consume what was supposed to be a place for understanding and affection — until you come to the conclusion that the kindest thing you can do now is to break up.
Ending a relationship is never easy and never fun. If you know how to break up with someone nicely and respectfully, the pain can be lessened.
In this dating advice, we aim to give you the essential dos and don’ts in order to have a clean and amicable separation.
Be thankful to have learned these tips about break ups. Soon you will be able to look back at your relationship with resolve and dignity.
Break Up Dos
- Ask yourself why you want this. Give enough thought and time as to why a break-up might be better for you, your partner and the relationship as a whole. Be honest with what you feel.
Think about what breaking up will do for you: Will it bring you to a healthier state of mind than where you are now? Or are you doing it on a whim, as in a toxic powerplay?
Remember that you do not have to shrink yourself in order to maintain an unhealthy status quo. You are not selfish for wanting to do what’s right for you, even if another person may be affected by it.
- Do not stall with your decision to break up. If there’s not much you or your partner can do to save the relationship, then end it in as early as possible.
Putting it on hold any longer will only complicate things and can even lead you both to hating and resenting each other.
Being respectful in a break-up is greatly affected by how early you bring it to the table, rather than leaving it to stew and spoil in the backburner.
- Be direct and honest with your reasons. When you finally have the time to sit down and talk with your partner, tell them your concerns about the relationship and your justification for the breakup.
Avoid giving vague reasons or sugarcoating your words. However, that doesn’t mean that you can be brutal when laying it on them. Extend the same respect you want to receive from them as you both seek closure.
Do not forget to appreciate what you had in the relationship. Share what attracted you to them in the first place, rather than picking apart their qualities just to prove why you want to break up.
- Accept their reactions, whatever they may be. Your partner will have a say on the break-up and you must be ready to listen to all of them. Moreover, you should hear them out without being defensive, without the mindset that you should be absolved from all faults.
Since you want to have a separation that isn’t filled with regrets and “what ifs,” try to answer any question that they may have.
As always, be candid and calm. There is no need to heighten already fragile emotions at this moment.
- End the relationship cleanly. Isn’t a clean break up the ultimate goal here? You can do so by cutting off all ties to your, now ex. Whether it’s through unfollowing them on social media or deleting them from your contacts, give space not only for your own sake but for theirs as well.
- It is an effective way to indicate that things have changed between you two permanently.
Break Up Don’ts
- Don’t avoid the conversation that you need to have. Carry respectful honesty towards your partner until the end.
After thinking over the decision, bring it up with them. Do not wait for ugly messages to float around, unintentionally for the break-up to reach your partner and cause a greater rift.
Chances for a clean separation can be affected by this.
- For you to have a real and candid conversation, do not break up out in the open. Find a safe and private space so all issues can be addressed without putting stress on anyone to hold back.
Expect for some sensitive, personal topics to be brought forward. Surely, you would not want for others not concerned with the relationship to know these.
It’s simply a reiteration of the saying “Do not wash your dirty linens in public.” You can’t deny that it does carry a valid point.
- If you truly want a clean break up, then you shouldn’t give your ex any kind of false hope.
Being vague about your decision will only confuse you both, and may even result in one hanging on to the remnants of a relationship long gone and become even more hurt in the end.
Hanging a chance of friendship to their face is also one thing you should avoid, as this may seem as if you are simply softening the blow for them. It can also be misconstrued as you still hoping for an encore.
You can be civil after the fact but keeping that communication channel open could fog over your decision to let go.
- For whatever reason you are here now, you should never belittle your ex. Regardless of how long or short your relationship lasted you still shared something special, and that should not be forgotten but instead, appreciated.
This is not to say that you are letting the faults within the relationship just pass, but simply showing respect where it’s due.
- As we have pointed out earlier, you are looking for a clean break so offering to make your ex feel better is a no. You can no longer be their support system, their shoulder to cry on for the same reasons we mentioned about cutting off the connection.
If you want to be respectful, give them space. Allow them to go through the process of closure on their own terms and pace.
Must we also remind how break-up sex will only confuse everything between you two?
While it is an unpleasant experience to go through, break-ups do happen — and sometimes for the greater good.
When you know you have reached the end of the love road, we hope you are more equipped to handle things respectfully through this guide. Keep your wits with you and be mature about the whole process, and we are sure you can look back at this moment with no hard feelings.
As a last note, you shouldn’t let this fallout push you into quitting dating altogether. You have a full life ahead, and it would be a waste to lock your heart to another chance at happiness. Dare to grow — that’s what love is all about!