Is She Flirting or Just Being Nice?

A photo of a man and woman drinking wine
Women have subtle ways of showing their interests in men.

At times, it can be difficult to make out the things women say. They can be vague or even cryptic. Their arguments can shift all over the place. If what they’re saying can confuse you, picking up on their body language can pose even more of a challenge.

Women’s personalities can be as fickle as the weather. Their mood swings are unpredictable. They smile at you one moment and ignore you the next. And batting their eyelashes doesn’t seem to always mean that they’re flirting.

Curiosity killed the cat, but it wouldn’t do you any harm to examine the subtle ways that women instinctively and inconspicuously flirt with men they find appealing.

So how can we tell if a woman is flirting or just being nice or friendly?

Let’s look at a few flirting indicators that women show to men they like.

Glances and Smiles

A lot of women are shy. In traditional societies especially, they’re expected to not show aggression or be direct. So when they see a man they like, they’ll just take glances.

When a woman glances at you sneakingly or looks away when you catch her gaze then looks back and smiles, she’s definitely attracted to you. And when she talks to you, she’ll maintain eye contact and continue smiling.

These are natural and instinctive ways for a woman to flirt.

Laughs and Teases

Teasing is a powerful form of flirting. When a woman does it, she does it to show affection.

A woman gently teases you because she is attracted to you. It’s playful flirting without coming off as indecent.

If you know how to flirt back, do it by teasing her too. Just make sure to do it tastefully and not cross any boundaries.


Some women show their affection through touch. A woman is flirting when she becomes touchy-feely with you.

You’ll notice this when she touches your arm while talking to you or gets excited. Sometimes she takes your hand into hers or gives you a rub on the back.

And when you are comfortable enough, she’ll tickle you to make you laugh or play with your hair. When she does that, she is seriously leading you on.

Texts or Messages

Random texts or funny messages are possible indicators that a woman is flirting with you.

She is sending these kinds of messages because she is thinking of you. She does this to initiate a conversation. For example, she might suddenly send you a message asking what your favorite color is.

She’ll most probably send you messages multiple times a day, because she can’t get you out of her mind.


Men approach women first to initiate conversations. That is the generally accepted norm in most cultures. But when a woman goes out of that traditional gender role and initiates things with you, it’s a major sign that she is attracted to you.

She initiates the conversation to give the signal. She expects that you’ll recognize the signal and take the lead in playing the romance game with her. Otherwise, she’ll probably get tired and give up her feelings for you.


A lot of women are reserved by nature. Observe how frequently a woman contacts you every day, and you’ll know whether she is attracted to you or not.

Does she constantly send you messages? Does she call you often? If yes, that’s a form of flirting.

Getting good morning and goodnight messages from her is also a clear hint that you’re always on her mind.


The fact that she constantly messages you is an obvious hint in itself.

But take note if she uses a lot of emojis.

Some women use emojis like winks, blushing faces, or smileys to act cute for a guy they like. If she sends you hearts for eyes, then that’s a higher level of a sign.

A photo of an emoji
Does she use a lot of emojis in her messages? She’s into you.

Loud Laughter

You can tell if a woman is attracted to you by how she laughs at your jokes. You could make a joke that’s as dry as the dessert on a hot sunny day, and she’ll laugh like it’s the first joke she’s ever heard.

Yes, it can be that she’s simply enjoying your company. But more often than not, it’s more likely she likes you that much.

Therefore an excellent way to check if that girl likes you is to humor her. If she laughs out loud, then great! If not, perhaps she just didn’t get it or isn’t into your brand of humor. Either way, don’t give up just yet.

Questions and Answers

A lot of women are easy to converse with. But observe is she starts asking a lot of questions about yourself.

A women who’s into you wants to know every detail about you, from what your childhood was like to your favorite food.

She may not directly suggest that she likes you, but if you’re nothing special to her, then she won’t bother with all the questions.

Pay Attention!

Men aren’t always attuned to how women flirt simply because they are taught to act, not react. Generally speaking, women don’t make the first move.

But to somehow circumvent this, women try to discreetly catch your attention to let you know that they’re interested. Their subtle ways are actually techniques to manipulate you into making the first move.

When you notice that she is making any of the signs mentioned, take it as a hint to make the first move.

When a woman begins to flirt, you know that a possible romantic relationship may ensure instead of you ending up in the friendzone. So pay attention!

At the end of the day, a woman who likes you will make some effort, even if that effort isn’t always painfully obvious to you. And you have to do your part as well. A lot of women put themselves out there only to be ignored by clueless men. And when that happens, they just give up. Be be good at reacting as well. It takes two to tango in the dating game, so make sure you know the steps!

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